Laws of the Locker Room


noun: law; noun: the law

a statement of fact, deduced from observation, to the effect that a particular natural or scientific phenomenon always occurs if certain conditions are present.

“the second law of thermodynamics”

In science there are hypotheses, theories and laws.

A hypothesis is more like a guess based upon an observation, like an educated guess. I might observe that when I am tired I seem to crave more sugar and tend to eat more. From this hypothesis I could set up an experiment and track how much I crave sugar vs. my hours of sleep. Usually a hypothesis can lead to setting up an experiment (but one experiment won’t always be the end all and be all for proving something. It just gives you more idea on if you are in the right direction for your educated guess…btw there are some studies out there that do link these two, but at the moment I am having a hard time tracking down the journal articles related.)

A theory summarizes a group of experiments that tend to agree. A theory can be disproven with enough evidence otherwise.

But a law is something that happens over and over again. With the same input you get the same output. Newton saw the apple fall, but didn’t know why…but knew that every time he dropped an apple it would fall. Hence the Law of Gravity is repeatable, even if it took awhile to explain.

So like in the laws of thermodynamics there are multiple laws I believe that there are governing “Laws of the Locker Room”

First Law: No matter how many lockers are in the locker room, you will always pick the locker that is either in the way of someone else or when you come back to a locker room with ONE other person in the locker room that person’s locker inevitably will cause the person to STAND FRONT OF YOUR LOCKER.

Second Law: Towels provided by the gym are never quite long enough to wrap around you.

Third Law: if keys to the lockers are randomly handed to you, the only person who ends up with a rockstar locker in both location and height is someone else.

What other “Laws of the Locker Room” am I missing? What happens EVERY TIME you are in the locker room at your gym?

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